I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
