Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
