Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
