Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
