I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize