i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize