yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
