so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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