I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
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I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
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it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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