just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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