I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
