Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just want nice things and good sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
