they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
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there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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