I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
