for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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