I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
this is an emotional support booty call
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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