All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Damn victory sex feels great
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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