First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
