I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
