So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I intend to get homeless drunk
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
