what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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