i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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