hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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