so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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