Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
