Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
