never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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