if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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