Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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