This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
