It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
