Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
