things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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