We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just cropdusted the office
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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