The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
