Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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