im six kinds of drunk right now
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
handjob tips. give me some.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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