dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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