she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
