dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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