Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
