No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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