I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
