There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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