Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
