your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
