OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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