please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
