Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
