I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
