he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
