We got so high we made milksteak
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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