where am i from again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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