what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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