omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
