He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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