Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
