no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
