the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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