as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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