I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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