Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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