the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
